High Strung and Loosing It (Not sure if it’s the right one—grammatically)

I realize that now I am going to have to start using my blog more often, what I realize is that I am telling my friends every thing that goes on in my school day and they really are sick of hearing my school saga. It is like almost every conversation I have with them I talk about school. I can tell they are not really interested and do not really want to hear about my day. I am melodramatic and high strung so I need a place/person to tell ALL my school business to, b/c I have realized school has really become my life—this includes cheerleading. I don’t really have relationships with other adults b/c of the hours I keep and in some ways, I have adopted a few of the characteristics of my students—their silliness and probably some of their moodiness. I NEED A LIFE. Someone please tell me how to get one! LOL.
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I know that I am short on temper as we get to the end of the school year. I am UNFAIR and I know it and honestly do not plan on changing. Example: I’ve been showing the first 2 hours of the 6 wives of Henry the VIII to my World History classes. My 5th period class can not sit still and watch it. They want to talk or sleep through the entire presentation, so I stopped showing the film to them. Instead, I gave them the guided readings from the text book company on a chapter that I do NOT plan on teaching and made them complete it—busy work. I have it graded and ready to hand back tomorrow to show them that it counts. It is not right but unfortunately, there is no point in teaching for this week and next week b/c of the testing and class outings. So if they can’t handle a film they will do book work.
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Cheer practice was horrible today because most of my squad was pumped up from a class picnic they had, practice was necessary b/c we have a performance this weekend. I get to practice and we’ve got to change our routine AGAIN b/c some of the girls had death in the family and others did not show up for rehearsal and one can not attend. It is exasperating to plan around 20+ girls who don’t have the courtesy to communicate with me what is going on—instead they tell their friends and when they get in trouble/demerits, they don’t really understand.

Anyway, as I was trying to fix the routine, everyone is yelling and talking all at once and undermining what I’m saying, I get upset b/c they won’t be quiet. I get my things and storm out. I know, not very adult of me. I don’t know what I was thinking but I guess I just needed to make a statement. I went and got an administrator and after the routine was fixed we sat down to a team meeting. I explained that this was all frustrating to me b/c it was too many people trying to talk at once and choreography & fixing routines is not my strong point. They were upset b/c they thought I had quit on them. I responded by saying “I’m not quitting this year.” Wrong words to say, all they heard was “this year”. They thought that I meant I would was not coming back b/c I didn’t want do it with the girls that I’ll have left. By no means is that what I meant, I had to explain, “I don’t believe I’ll be teaching at that school in few years.” Still I think it hurts them. I like teaching, but I want adventure and I want more. I want to try teaching overseas. My friend did it and now I have the bug and I want to go overseas so badly.

In the midst of this pow wow, cheerleader r says, “Ms. A., I think you are trying to do too much. Sometimes you ought to let us brainstorm the solutions to these problems.” I said “you are exactly right.” FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES. I learned something today, its their team let them do most of the word. I guess I’m just supposed to be there to guide them. I’m tired of running ragged. Next time I am going to sit there and observe with occasional interjections instead of trying to run the whole thing.