I thought it was a cookie. But I called Cat today, simply to tell her “I LOVE Black men.” As we engaged in this conversation, I find out she doesn’t like them at all. She says, maybe it’s the men she’s around, but she has nothing in common with them. They don’t like to do the things she does. They call her an “oreo.” You know, Black on the outside, White on the inside.
Apparently, this doesn’t make her a good candidate for southern Black men. I’m exactly the opposite. I LOVE Black Men and can’t see myself with anyone else, but I’ve dated all sorts. But that “ain’t” the discussion.
The discussion is: How do you act White? I’ve been asking this since my days in college. My kids tell me all the time that I talk White or “proper.” I explain to them that I speak correctly in appropriate situations. You’ve got know when you can act “hood.” You can act one way with your friends, but in public and on the job you must act in manner that is appropriate. You must act “civilized” to be acceptable in our society. You must speak correct English to be understood. Moreover, why is unacceptable for a Black person to like or sing opera, dance ballet or ski. I don’t even understand why this is even a problem in America. I think it has a lot to do with poverty and the invisible class system that exists here.
I don’t think my kids know that my family is from the same “hood” that they are growing up in. I didn’t grow up there, but my mother did. I am a “mound” girl. Thus, I can be “down” with the best of them, but I choose to be “lame.” I choose to be “proper.”
Miss CF says that I’m ghetto and I don’t talk “proper.” She’s right because when I’m with her I let go of societal norms. I don’t have to been an example for anyone. Conversely, Miss CF is White and Lord knows, she is super ghetto. If they saw her with me they’d say she was “tryin’ to act Black.”
I don’t know why there is so much pressure to be ghetto if you are Black. It is a stereotype that African American’s should not have. I think that these stereotypes are what continue to breed and sustain racism. Unfortunately, this blog ain’t gon’ haf to much o dat hood o country stuffs cause I wanna be propa xample for da chirrens AND I ain’t green, really, I ain’t. I’m out cause I gotta go to da Durry Queen.
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In response to Betsy's comments: Yes, being called an Oreo is racist. These are fighting words. No matter the circumstances--however, it seems that African American's can say things about their own and the sting is not so bad. This was one of the major issues with Imus a few months back. African Americans say these types of derogatory things all the time, but no one else can say it. It is funny how it works. No, these types of things should not be said. I agree with you. Its highly inappropriate, but unfortunately racism and stereotypes didn't die with Dr. King. They still live. After reading your post, it was November 6th, I realize we must stand up and say something when these comments are made. I generally stand up when these types of comments are made. I can't stand these types of words--including the N word. When it happens in my classroom, it's unacceptable. But the sad thing is that these kids go home and it is said all around them. Somehow, my students (or the African American community in general) has made these words affectionate.
Yes, my friend is hurt b/c she is thought of as an oreo. But, I get the sense that she is used to it. It doesn't sting as much. It doesn't sting when I'm told, "you're acting White" anymore. I generally laugh and say, "how do you act White?" No one ever has an answer. These are hard social issues. Especially, here in the South.
